Some people are fond of saying that there was no "owner's manual" provided with the birth of their child (I think I've said that myself). And it's obvious to any parent that different kids require different approaches. However, every parent should at least be acquainted with several of the following effective and reliable tools: intermittent positive reinforcement, reframing, internal locus of control, agency, behavior replacement, perspective taking, approximating the goal, developmental stages and milestones, happy safe and good, and about a dozen other basics (my wife says I'm not to give away the farm). Similarly, there are some reliably ineffective but still very popular strategies which are good to keep in mind. 

Behavioral equations of every kind interest me. And I've had the opportunity of watching literally thousands of children grow into adulthood, of guiding many of them, and of observing, and sometimes contributing to, the strategies which brought them along that path. I've made some mistakes, and I've seen mistakes made. And there have been spectacularly successful outcomes as well. But I've learned a great deal, and I have a passion for sharing what I've learned with anyone who cares enough to ask. Very few people want to hear from you about their parenting, or from me either. That has to be respected. But if you're interested in talking about the unique challenges your child presents, there's little that's more satisfying for me.

Together with my wife, Karen, I've raised an independent and successful young adult. I believe I could have done better, but not a lot better. I had a great deal of help along the way. One bit of advice I encountered early was the notion that we're not raising a child; we're raising an adult. We have to take the long view with everything we do. So, that unavoidable third grade bump, that essential eighth grade objective, those curious character and judgement lapses in high school, the usually temporary ideological rejections of college and early career, even that predictable moment in early adulthood when we parents are suddenly "smart" again---these need to be understood as parts of a very long term ambition. And then, there's the last piece: parenting never really stops.

One day your child may be more effective and self-sufficient than you (mine certainly is)---that's the goal, anyway. And the shape of parenting will have been radically modified. (Mine has). But you'll still play an important role. Better to put in the effort on the front end than later along. If you'd like to explore any of this some time, give me a call.